So, as it turns out, I photographed three more weddings after this one, and have one more scheduled for next year. But, that will be my last one for sure.
A few days ago, I photographed what was supposed to be my last wedding. Ever. It was beautiful, I couldn't have asked for a better wedding to go out with, as they are friends.
However, I've agreed to photograph one more wedding for a sweet couple I met on a referral for engagement portraits. It's a small, intimate ceremony with few children and no cell phones - really, a photographer's dream. But I digress ...
A few days ago, I photographed what was supposed to be my last wedding. Ever. It was beautiful, I couldn't have asked for a better wedding to go out with, as they are friends.
However, I've agreed to photograph one more wedding for a sweet couple I met on a referral for engagement portraits. It's a small, intimate ceremony with few children and no cell phones - really, a photographer's dream. But I digress ...
People have asked me why no more weddings, but the answer is not as easy as making one
blanket statement. Because if I were to say one thing it would be that I am not
a ‘wedding’ photographer. However, as a photographer, I can photograph a
wedding. Being a photographer doesn't necessarily mean I have to photograph weddings, but somehow, everyone assumes that if you are, then you should ...
Many think weddings are easy money-makers for
photographers. We show up, take a bunch of photos and make a decent amount of
cash for a few hours work. If only it were that easy.
In fact, weddings are the hardest to photograph because you
don’t get a re-do if you f*** it up. Once a shot is missed, it’s gone. For someone who only shoots weddings occasionally - I typically only photograph 3-4 per year by choice - it's stressful and intimidating. By the time the wedding day arrives, it's been a few months since the last one and it's not like riding a bike.
Most great wedding photographers (that I admire) shoot only weddings. It’s their specialty and requires a LOT of work. The job doesn’t start
and end at the event. There are pre-wedding meetings and post-wedding editing
sessions that can last days to months. It’s giving up parts of your life and holding the event date for up to a year, long hours, dealing with picky/tricky people and situations that are NOT ideal. For someone who doesn't photograph weddings all the time, the not ideal situations can be disastrous.
I’m not talking about the stuff you can’t control, like the weather; but rather the things that can be controlled. So, I've made a list of the things that made being a wedding photographer harder than it needed to be, and prompted me to stop offering wedding photography services. And while weddings may have one or all of these factors, please know that I’ve always had as much fun as I’ve experienced stress in photographing them.
I’m not talking about the stuff you can’t control, like the weather; but rather the things that can be controlled. So, I've made a list of the things that made being a wedding photographer harder than it needed to be, and prompted me to stop offering wedding photography services. And while weddings may have one or all of these factors, please know that I’ve always had as much fun as I’ve experienced stress in photographing them.
1)
No shot
list for the family formal and bridal photos. This is important especially
if you have specific shots you want taken. I’m not a mind-reader and I don’t
know your family. I only know the bride and groom and possibly the immediate family. When it comes time to take
the formal shots, I need to know who you want in what group of photos. I will
take a lot of pictures of your special day – most of them before and after the
ceremony. But when you get them back and notice that your fifth cousin on your
mom’s side who married your significant other’s best friend was not included in
the shots, refer back to the shot list that was not provided. Especially if I’ve
asked for one.*Wedding planners are great for this type of thing.
2)
Not
sticking to a pre-ceremony timeline. I like weddings that only require
me to be there for the ceremony and the formal photos – they are less stress
and the reason I charge so little for that service. But most would rather I be
there to get photos of the bride getting ready with her bridesmaids and a few
of the groom with his groomsmen – for which I should have probably charged more
but I don’t because it’s all digital and not my sole source of income. And
those do tend to be my fave pics. But, when the ceremony is at 1 p.m. and it is
12:55 pm and the bride and her girls are just finishing up, I will have to forfeit
someone’s photos – usually the groom (who may be staying at a different
location) and any creative shots the bride found on Pinterest.
3)
Kids.
I love kids – I have one. But by reception time, they are ready to let loose
after (thankfully) keeping a lid on their energy during the wedding ceremony.
It’s really hard to do my job as a photographer when kids are doing their best
to get into all the important shots – like when the groom is pulling the garter
off the bride and the couple is sharing their first dance or cutting the cake.
They don’t even mean to do it, it just happens – they are excited that everyone
else is excited. I get it. If you’re getting married and are allowing parents
to bring their kids to your wedding, urge the parents to keep them in check and
out of the important shots. This is a courtesy to the bride and groom as well
as the photographer. I cannot count how many shots were ruined because of kids
who ambushed a photo-op.
4)
Cell
phones. If
you are a guest and you have a cell phone, an iPad or your own DSLR, put them away during the ceremony and stay
out of the photographer’s way for the ‘money shots.’ Don’t get pissed when the
photographer gets in front of your shot to take a photo, because the bride and
groom paid for the service, not cell phone photos. And no one wants to see a cell phone in a
formal shot or anyone in the background looking at their phone or iPad - it ruins the aesthetic. Also, during
important parts of the ceremony and reception, leave room for the photographer to
do his/her job. Your flash camera phone picture that you crowded the
photographer for probably cost the couple that shot. And it can’t be re-shot. This
goes for family members as well as friends/guests. Even as a parent, this is
not your special day, it’s your children’s. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter can
wait. Anyone who couldn’t make the wedding can wait, too. Put your social media
kit away and enjoy the moment offline. This is my BIGGEST pet
peeve along with hundreds of photos of the wedding showing up online before I've even had a chance to give the bride and groom a preview of their photos.
Curious to see examples of shots ruined and understand, from a wedding photographer's POV, why we have such a strong opinion on this? Check out Photographer Corey Ann's write up on Huffington Post HERE. The examples of shots ruined will make you cringe, if not cry.
5)
Lighting
conditions that can be controlled that are set to be less than optimal. I
know: candle- and dim-lit ceremonies and receptions are so romantic. For me,
they are a nightmare. Even with flash photography, there needs to be enough
light for the camera to focus. And when there are a lot of cell phones
flashing, the camera isn’t sure what to focus on, even though I’m pointing at
the subject. Sometimes, it’s really hard to focus at all. If you have a DJ that
likes colored disco lighting, encourage them to use a spotlight or overhead natural
light instead – at least during the dances,
bouquet/garter toss, and cake cutting. Because those colored lights are going
to color your photos. I joke about being a Photoshop Wizard, but some things
even Photoshop can’t fix. A lot of times, I can make a less romantic, brightly
lit room look the most intimate. But this is not a wrong thing – your wedding,
your lighting.
My advice to anyone getting married is to use a photographer who specializes in weddings only. You may balk at the price tag, but they are worth every penny you will spend. Look at their portfolio, discuss your options and listen to what they need to have from you to get what you want out of your photos -and communicate what you want as well. Because when it’s all said and done, it’s not about the money. It’s about having your special day documented by someone who will be able to cope with such a high stress and variable environment and still be able to produce amazing photographs you will cherish forever – or for as long as you are married.
My advice to anyone getting married is to use a photographer who specializes in weddings only. You may balk at the price tag, but they are worth every penny you will spend. Look at their portfolio, discuss your options and listen to what they need to have from you to get what you want out of your photos -and communicate what you want as well. Because when it’s all said and done, it’s not about the money. It’s about having your special day documented by someone who will be able to cope with such a high stress and variable environment and still be able to produce amazing photographs you will cherish forever – or for as long as you are married.
If I've shot your wedding, don’t be offended. I may have experienced one or all of the above at your wedding, but I wouldn't give up that opportunity for anything. Most of you are my friends. Being asked to photograph a life event is an honor and one that's humbling. I have just chosen not to continue doing it because it is not my specialty and I don’t want to stress over a sometimes uncontrollable environment.
My specialty is the ever after, lifestyle and candid photos.
Having a baby? Need non-traditional portraits? Engaged? Want boudoir shots or need acting headshots/portfolio photos? Maybe you decided to hit up the Justice of the Peace and want bride and groom portraits? Call me.
Getting married? I can help you find a wedding photographer
whose work I admire and who is worth the investment.
Here is another blog on wedding and tips on how not to ruin a wedding, if you are the guest:
10 Ways To Ruin A Wedding
Here is another blog on wedding and tips on how not to ruin a wedding, if you are the guest:
10 Ways To Ruin A Wedding
